Very special lockdown cross stitch
When the country went into lockdown, I knew that I would use the time I previously spent commuting and seeing friends on something creative. I figured I would steadily work my way through my fabric stash, complete the works in progress whether sewing or embroidery, or DIY by finally sprucing up the parts of the house that needed it. It didn't quite turned out as planned. In late March, early April, over the space of three days, my Mum had to let go of her Yorkshire Terrier Tammy when a heart condition got the better of her. It honestly couldn't have been worse timing - to go through lockdown on your own without one of your best friends and restrictions on visits meant she was grieving on her own.
Original photo for comparison
Unable to do anything more than be at the end of the phone and visit every now and then with groceries, I wanted to mark the occasion somehow - find a way to give Mum a keepsake, something that captured the spirit of Tammy. I quickly settled on a cross stitched portrait. After bouncing around a few photo options with my brother, I settled on one from the time I made Tammy her first coat. I chose this photo as it reveals Tammy's cheeky character as well as having a range of colours - I wanted the portrait to be interesting and varied to stitch if possible to help keep up momentum. This project felt urgent but also something that needed care and attention to ensure it could be the best it could be.
Following a recommendation, I used Customised Charts for You on Facebook, to get the picture converted into a chart. I provided the required criteria: DMC threads and 14 count Aida (this was all I had at home and decided not to wait for delivery of a smaller count as this was the height of delays). Within 24 hours I had received advice on size and the level of detail to include, seen a preview of the chart, confirmed that I would be happy to use 90 (!) colours, and received the final PDF which included full instructions on colours, how to stitch, and care for my piece. All for £12. Initially I couldn’t decide whether to turn the finished item into a cushion or frame it. To give both options, we decided on a larger size - 30cm x 30cm. That way it would be a decent size cushion, or a striking portrait. I left the decision until I had added the final stitch and chose to frame it. I purchased a dark charcoal frame from Etsy as anything brighter would have probably distracted the eye from the detail of the piece.
Stitching was a long process. Determined to get this done as quickly as I could, I made time each day to stitch. Some days I spent hours surrounded by thread, others only a few stitches went in. Overall it took me 82 days to complete. Despite taking up most of the size, Tammy was incredibly quick to stitch. There seemed to be a rhythm to the colours without the need to change between them regularly. It was wonderful seeing her come to life in thread as each day went by. Except the time I was waiting for a particular thread to arrive to fully fill in her eyes and nose and she looked like something you'd see in a horror film! The tarmac was a very different experience and this is where the majority of the colours were. Upon a basis of black, dark grey, and dark blue, the rest of the colours were sprinkled sparingly. I've heard this referred to as confetti and that seems very apt. As a result, the pages containing the tarmac took a lot longer to finish and it felt I was forever changing colours for a single stitch. The effort was worth it as the effect is very realistic.
Keeping the tension even across the piece was my biggest challenge. Ideally I would have used a rectangular frame allowing the full area of the Aida to be on show. I only had a 7 inch hoop available. This size allowed me to complete a decent part of each page before having to reposition it carefully to ensure the stitches lined up evenly. I was broadly successful but did need to slightly stretch and manipulate the finished piece in some areas to ensure it fitted the frame well.
The finished portrait is now at my Mum's who was excited to receive it. I loved working on it. While it came about in sad circumstances, it turned out to be the project that I needed too. It was helpful to have something to return to daily, almost like a ritual, to ground me. It helped me to start processing the "new normal" and have me something to focus on when I received a surprise diagnosis of stage four endometriosis and the knowledge that an operations would be scheduled when elective surgery opened up again*. I have often said that I find hand stitching to be meditative and this project was no exception.
* I have since had the operation. It went well and I am currently recovering. I may share further details here at a time when I feel ready but I've been pretty open about my experience over on Instagram, mostly on stories.